The 5 Stages of Watching Someone Else's Graduation

First of all, shout out to my big brother Sam for receiving his B.S. degree in Biology this past Saturday! He's off to med school next fall and is a huge inspiration in my life. <3

So yeah, this past weekend I went to my brother's commencement ceremony and watched him receive his college degree.

And I realized something:

Going to someone else's graduation is a very introspecting event and there are five VERY distinct stages in which one goes through as a spectator...

(Each of the following stages is brought to you by my favorite television stars. You're welcome.)

Stage 1: Happy Fun Time

All the graduates are walking in, waving, and smiling ear to ear.
You get the satisfaction of shouting for your particular graduate as you see them marching in.
Pomp and Circumstance.
It's borderline euphoric being surrounded by that many happy people at one time. And you think thoughts like "wow what a happy day" and "they worked so hard to get here!"
Stage 1 is a pretty fun time.

Stage 2: Total Life Re-evaluation (and a side of crippling fear)

It's all fun and games until the commencement speaker starts his introduction.
Gotta love the guy that owns three businesses, started eight organizations for the poor and, like, cancer research, and also volunteers part time at the homeless shelter he created. And he "started right where you are today!"
And then you realize you are currently not doing anything productive with your time and immediately start questioning your path.
Literally I went in to this last commencement planning to be a teacher and left thinking I should probably go live in Africa and go fight poverty for a while.
Great, thanks Speaker Guy. Great.

Stage 3: Daunting Concern 

Stage 3 is that moment you realize just how many names they are about to start calling, and you're not so sure you're mentally prepared for it.

Stage 4: Bored Revelations

They are still calling names.
It's been an entire hour of names.
Amazing the things you will discover about life during this time.

Stage 5: The Final Stage: Unbearable Hanger

You are so proud of your graduate. You really are! You cheered loudly for them as they received their degree. 

But in the fifth and final stage, the hanger is too real. You are hungry. You are tired. You are so not having it anymore with unnecessary words from the Guys on the Stage. It is time to get on outta there.

I know this to be true. I hope today's post has prepared you all for the next commencement you spectate. 

ALL jokes aside, I am really proud of my brother. I loved seeing him graduate and it was a once in a lifetime event. I just thought I would bring a little comedy into your day, readers. 

Thanks for reading!