How to Kill a Relationship in 5 Words

Okay, I'm going to be honest. I've killed my fair share of relationships. I'm not only talking about romantic relationships either. I mean friendships as well.

Everyone can say that they've been a part of a failed relationship at one point or another, so I decided to take a closer look at my past relationships and see where exactly things went wrong.

5 words:

This is all your fault.

Taadaaa! That's the killer, boys and girls. This is all your fault. 

I've said it to ex-friends, and I have had ex-friends say it to me. This sentence is toxic, and when you boil every failed relationship down to its core you will find these words, perhaps in different form. Either way, blaming something, no matter what it is, completely and totally 100% on the other person is a sure way to lose them.

However: I learned that nothing is wholly someone else's fault. Ever.

Yeah, they cheated on you.
Sure, they've changed into a completely different person that you don't even recognize (gotta love that)
Mhm, they said something hateful about you behind your back.

Are they perfect? No.
Are you perfect? Nope.

There you have it. Everyone has reasons for doing everything. That does not mean they aren't in the wrong, but it also doesn't mean that what they did to you is completely their fault.
We MUST try and look at whoever has wronged us and truly see what they are experiencing. Their life could be a whirlwind of issues that is causing them to cheat or change or be hateful. It doesn't make them any more "right" but it does help us see that it isn't ALL their fault either.

Here's the thing: everyone is doing the best they can to get themselves through the tumbles and storms of life. Everyone is trying to make it.

NO ONE, I don't care who you are, wakes up every morning and says "I'm going to stab (insert name) in the back" or "I think I'll just break (insert name)'s heart today".

There are a million reasons we act on behaviors. Most of it is for survival. So here's the question: the person that wronged you...what do you think they are trying to survive?

So give it a shot. Next time a friend or partner is doing something that you can't work through...try and see what they are seeing OUTSIDE of your relationship. God calls us to see not through our own eyes, but through other's.

If you decide to speak up about the issue, try NOT saying it's all their fault.

That's all for today, folks!

Love Always, Hannah